#sad eyed beatniks

[musickickztoo]

CONTRA2024 - 10

13072024 (ALL NEW)

TRACKLIST:

Wilco - Livid MJ Lenderman - She's Leaving You The Jesus Lizard - Alexis Feels Sick Osees - Earthling Ismatic Guru - Heroes Ismatic Guru - Get Em Eye Ball - Kick You The Bug Club - Lonsdale Slipons The Courettes - California (feat. La La Brooks) Kim Gordon - ECRP Sleaford Mods - Git Some Balls The Saints - Break Away Sad Eyed Beatniks - It's Who Makes The Scene Bright Eyes - Bells And Whistles Chime School - Wandering School Bad Moves - Hallelujah Weak Signal - Wannabe Lifeguard - Telepathic Love (Wipers) Erik Nervous - R 'G' M The Fadeaways - Ain't No Friend

The 10th playlist of the year!!

Listen: https://www.mixcloud.com/Contraflow/contra2024-10-13072024-all-new/

[whisperthatruns]

Jail Poems

1

I am sitting in a cell with a view of evil parallels, Waiting thunder to splinter me into a thousand me's. It is not enough to be in one cage with one self; I want to sit opposite every prisoner in every hole. Doors roll and bang, every slam a finality, bang! The junkie disappeared into a red noise, stoning out his hell. The odored wino congratulates himself on not smoking, Fingerprints left lying on black inky gravestones, Noises of pain seeping through steel walls crashing Reach my own hurt. I become part of someone forever. Wild accents of criminals are sweeter to me than hum of cops, Busy battening down hatches of human souls; cargo Destined for ports of accusations, harbors of guilt. What do policemen eat, Socrates, still prisoner, old one?

2

Painter, paint me a crazy jail, mad water-color cells. Poet, how old is suffering? Write it in yellow lead. God, make me a sky on my glass ceiling. I need stars now, To lead through this atmosphere of shrieks and private hells, Entrances and exits, in . . . out . . . up . . . down, the civic seesaw. Here — me — now — always here somehow.

3

In a universe of cells—who is not in jail? Jailers. In a world of hospitals—who is not sick? Doctors. A golden sardine is swimming in my head. Oh we know some things, man, about some things Like jazz and jails and God. Saturday is a good day to go to jail.

4

Now they give a new form, quivering jelly-like, That proves any boy can be president of Muscatel. They are mad at him because he's one of Them. Gray-speckled unplanned nakedness; stinking Fingers grasping toilet bowl. Mr. America wants to bathe. Look! On the floor, lying across America's face— A real movie star featured in a million newsreels. What am I doing—feeling compassion? When he comes out of it, he will help kill me. He probably hates living.

5

Nuts, skin bolts, clanking in his stomach, scrambled. His society's gone to pieces in his belly, bloated. See the great American windmill, tilting at itself, Good solid stock, the kind that made America drunk. Success written all over his street-streaked ass. Successful-type success, forty home runs in one inning. Stop suffering, Jack, you can't fool us. We know. This is the greatest country in the world, ain't it? He didn't make it. Wino in Cell 3.

6

There have been too many years in this short span of mine. My soul demands a cave of its own, like the Jain god; Yet I must make it go on, hard like jazz, glowing In this dark plastic jungle, land of long night, chilled. My navel is a button to push when I want inside out. Am I not more than a mass of entrails and rough tissue? Must I break my bones? Drink my wine-diluted blood? Should I dredge old sadness from my chest? Not again, All those ancient balls of fire, hotly swallowed, let them lie. Let me spit breath mists of introspection, bits of me, So that when I am gone, I shall be in the air.

7

Someone whom I am is no one. Something I have done is nothing. Someplace I have been is nowhere. I am not me. What of the answers I must find questions for? All these strange streets I must find cities for, Thank God for beatniks.

8

All night the stink of rotting people, Fumes rising from pyres of live men, Fill my nose with gassy disgust, Drown my exposed eyes in tears.

9

Traveling God salesmen, bursting my ear drum With the dullest part of a good sexy book, Impatient for Monday and adding machines.

10

Yellow-eyed dogs whistling in evening.

11

The baby came to jail today.

12

One more day to hell, filled with floating glands.

13

The jail, a huge hollow metal cube Hanging from the moon by a silver chain. Someday Johnny Appleseed is going to chop it down.

14

Three long strings of light Braided into a ray.

15

I am apprehensive about my future; My past has turned its back on me.

16

Shadows I see, forming on the wall, Pictures of desires protected from my own eyes.

17

After spending all night constructing a dream, Morning came and blinded me with light. Now I seek among mountains of crushed eggshells For the God damned dream I never wanted.

18

Sitting here writing things on paper, Instead of sticking the pencil into the air.

19

The Battle of Monumental Failures raging, Both hoping for a good clean loss.

20

Now I see the night, silently overwhelming day.

21

Caught in imaginary webs of conscience, I weep over my acts, yet believe.

22

Cities should be built on one side of the street.

23

People who can't cast shadows Never die of freckles.

24

The end always comes last.

25

We sat at a corner table, Devouring each other word by word, Until nothing was left, repulsive skeletons.

26

I sit here writing, not daring to stop, For fear of seeing what's outside my head.

27

There, Jesus, didn't hurt a bit, did it?

28

I am afraid to follow my flesh over those narrow Wide hard soft female beds, but I do.

29

Link by link, we forged the chain. Then, discovering the end around our necks, We bugged out.

30

I have never seen a wild poetic loaf of bread, But if I did, I would eat it, crust and all.

31

From how many years away does a baby come?

32

Universality, duality, totality . . . .one.

33

The defective on the floor, mumbling, Was once a man who shouted across tables.

34

Come, help flatten a raindrop.

Written in San Francisco City Prison Cell 3, 1959

Bob Kaufman (1925--1986), Collected Poems of Bob Kaufman (City Lights Books, 2019)

[daggerzine]

Sad Eyed Beatniks- Ten Brocades (Meritorio Records)

Kevin Linn seems to have been born on some random island midway between the Bay Area (where he calls home) and Dunedin, New Zealand. Of course, there are lots of islands out that way and though Linn was probably born on our shores, the music he creates as the Sad Eyed Beatniks seems to have lots in common with that country that has more sheep than people. 

Sound-wise, maybe midway between The Clean and Wreck Small Speakers on Expensive Stereos perhaps?

Linn, along with help from Bay Area musician Karina Gill (on guitar and keys) and Mike Ramos (on drums/percussion)  dive right in on the opening treble kick of "Barong Mask," while "Nail in the Coffin" makes good use of a xylophone (always love when that is added to a song). The title track has some wiggy guitar and almost dissolves into prettiness (or is that too much dust on your record needle?) and "The Broken Playwright Waits" shuffles and kicks up some dust like that old combo that Reed and Cale were once in.

On each record, Linn takes us on a riveting musical path and Ten Brocades is no different. It's always an interesting journey. No seatbelt is needed, just hop in and keep your ears open.

www.sadeyedbeatniks.bandcamp.com

www.meritoriorec.bandcamp.com

[manwalksintobar]

Jail Poems // Bob Kaufman

1

I am sitting in a cell with a view of evil parallels, Waiting thunder to splinter me into a thousand me's. It is not enough to be in one cage with one self; I want to sit opposite every prisoner in every hole. Doors roll and bang, every slam a finality, bang! The junkie disappeared into a red noise, stoning out his hell. The odored wino congratulates himself on not smoking, Fingerprints left lying on black inky gravestones, Noises of pain seeping through steel walls crashing Reach my own hurt. I become part of someone forever. Wild accents of criminals are sweeter to me than hum of cops, Busy battening down hatches of human souls; cargo Destined for ports of accusations, harbors of guilt. What do policemen eat, Socrates, still prisoner, old one?

2

Painter, paint me a crazy jail, mad water-color cells. Poet, how old is suffering? Write it in yellow lead. God, make me a sky on my glass ceiling. I need stars now, To lead through this atmosphere of shrieks and private hells, Entrances and exits, in . . . out . . . up . . . down, the civic seesaw. Here — me — now — always here somehow.

3

In a universe of cells—who is not in jail? Jailers. In a world of hospitals—who is not sick? Doctors. A golden sardine is swimming in my head. Oh we know some things, man, about some things Like jazz and jails and God. Saturday is a good day to go to jail.

4

Now they give a new form, quivering jelly-like, That proves any boy can be president of Muscatel. They are mad at him because he's one of Them. Gray-speckled unplanned nakedness; stinking Fingers grasping toilet bowl. Mr. America wants to bathe. Look! On the floor, lying across America's face— A real movie star featured in a million newsreels. What am I doing—feeling compassion? When he comes out of it, he will help kill me. He probably hates living.

5

Nuts, skin bolts, clanking in his stomach, scrambled. His society's gone to pieces in his belly, bloated. See the great American windmill, tilting at itself, Good solid stock, the kind that made America drunk. Success written all over his street-streaked ass. Successful-type success, forty home runs in one inning. Stop suffering, Jack, you can't fool us. We know. This is the greatest country in the world, ain't it? He didn't make it. Wino in Cell 3.

6

There have been too many years in this short span of mine. My soul demands a cave of its own, like the Jain god; Yet I must make it go on, hard like jazz, glowing In this dark plastic jungle, land of long night, chilled. My navel is a button to push when I want inside out. Am I not more than a mass of entrails and rough tissue? Must I break my bones? Drink my wine-diluted blood? Should I dredge old sadness from my chest? Not again, All those ancient balls of fire, hotly swallowed, let them lie. Let me spit breath mists of introspection, bits of me, So that when I am gone, I shall be in the air.

7

Someone whom I am is no one. Something I have done is nothing. Someplace I have been is nowhere. I am not me. What of the answers I must find questions for? All these strange streets I must find cities for, Thank God for beatniks.

8

All night the stink of rotting people, Fumes rising from pyres of live men, Fill my nose with gassy disgust, Drown my exposed eyes in tears.

9

Traveling God salesmen, bursting my ear drum With the dullest part of a good sexy book, Impatient for Monday and adding machines.

10

Yellow-eyed dogs whistling in evening.

11

The baby came to jail today.

12

One more day to hell, filled with floating glands.

13

The jail, a huge hollow metal cube Hanging from the moon by a silver chain. Someday Johnny Appleseed is going to chop it down.

14

Three long strings of light Braided into a ray.

15

I am apprehensive about my future; My past has turned its back on me.

16

Shadows I see, forming on the wall, Pictures of desires protected from my own eyes.

17

After spending all night constructing a dream, Morning came and blinded me with light. Now I seek among mountains of crushed eggshells For the God damned dream I never wanted.

18

Sitting here writing things on paper, Instead of sticking the pencil into the air.

19

The Battle of Monumental Failures raging, Both hoping for a good clean loss.

20

Now I see the night, silently overwhelming day.

21

Caught in imaginary webs of conscience, I weep over my acts, yet believe.

22

Cities should be built on one side of the street.

23

People who can't cast shadows Never die of freckles.

24

The end always comes last.

25

We sat at a corner table, Devouring each other word by word, Until nothing was left, repulsive skeletons.

26

I sit here writing, not daring to stop, For fear of seeing what's outside my head.

27

There, Jesus, didn't hurt a bit, did it?

28

I am afraid to follow my flesh over those narrow Wide hard soft female beds, but I do.

29

Link by link, we forged the chain. Then, discovering the end around our necks, We bugged out.

30

I have never seen a wild poetic loaf of bread, But if I did, I would eat it, crust and all.

31

From how many years away does a baby come?

32

Universality, duality, totality . . . .one.

33

The defective on the floor, mumbling, Was once a man who shouted across tables.

34

Come, help flatten a raindrop.

Written in San Francisco City Prison Cell 3, 1959

[reconprate]

Sad Eyed Beatniks

Sad Eyed Beatniks “You Belong With Us” Ten Brocades (07-12-2024) First single from a new album by the project of San Francisco’s Kevin Linn (head of Paisley Shirt Records).  The band features Mike Ramos (Tony Jay, Flowertown) and Karina Gill (Cindy, Flowertown).

[audiofuzz]

SEE: Lo-FI/Shoegaze Rock Legends | Tony Jay - ‘Perfect Worlds’

Recorded entirely in 2021, Perfect Worlds, the new album by San Francisco's mysterious lo-fi pop legend Tony Jay, delivers an intimate record of thirteen dreamy, assured arrangements that further cements Tony Jay's status as a dejected crooner of the quotidian par excellence. Drawing inspiration from failed relationships, lack of sleep, a bicycle injury, and depression, Tony Jay (headed by Flowertown/Sad Eyed Beatniks member and SF scene mainstay Michael Ramos) pairs catchy melodies and hushed vocals with ethereal instrumental tracks. Studded with instant classics, Tony Jay's new album encapsulates the isolation and loneliness of the past few years. "In a perfect world I'd find a place down in the basement," begins the title track, and the refrain repeats, "You just can't escape it." Interspersed with otherworldly instrumental tracks that call to mind a machine struggling to work underwater and whale mating calls combined with droning synth, horns, chimes, this album also provides space for listeners to make new worlds of their own. Our times may be inescapable, but we're fortunate to be able to wall ourselves in with fantasies of our own creation alongside Perfect Worlds. Check out their latest single “Isolated Visions” below: Read the full article

[chrisryanspeaks]

SEE: Lo-FI/Shoegaze Rock Legends | Tony Jay - ‘Perfect Worlds’

Recorded entirely in 2021, Perfect Worlds, the new album by San Francisco's mysterious lo-fi pop legend Tony Jay, delivers an intimate record of thirteen dreamy, assured arrangements that further cements Tony Jay's status as a dejected crooner of the quotidian par excellence. Drawing inspiration from failed relationships, lack of sleep, a bicycle injury, and depression, Tony Jay (headed by Flowertown/Sad Eyed Beatniks member and SF scene mainstay Michael Ramos) pairs catchy melodies and hushed vocals with ethereal instrumental tracks. Studded with instant classics, Tony Jay's new album encapsulates the isolation and loneliness of the past few years. "In a perfect world I'd find a place down in the basement," begins the title track, and the refrain repeats, "You just can't escape it." Interspersed with otherworldly instrumental tracks that call to mind a machine struggling to work underwater and whale mating calls combined with droning synth, horns, chimes, this album also provides space for listeners to make new worlds of their own. Our times may be inescapable, but we're fortunate to be able to wall ourselves in with fantasies of our own creation alongside Perfect Worlds. Check out their latest single “Isolated Visions” below: Read the full article

[thehappywun]

Sad Eyed Beatniks "Finch Running On Ground" live 2021-11-17 The Make-Out Room SF

Last song from their superlative set at the Make-Out Room in SF.

Full audio recording (FLAC) is here: https://u.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=kZm4MAXZIAqGghMzQKFhGzxuQPhWSfrRfnCV

[affairesasuivre]

Places Of Interest par Sad Eyed Beatniks

Sirens ring out, trains rumble underfoot, and the wind gusts in a wall of clouds...Places Of Interest tries to channel early-Rough Trade & Revolver-like sounds with the city of San Francisco as its focal point. Songs about intersections, parks, and donut shops put this lo-fi indie rock album on a map.

Sad Eyed Beatniks has been a project of mine since 2014. After getting burned out from recording the final Milky Baskets album, I decided I wanted to make something a little more straightforward with 4-track cassette recorders. When creating the Soundcloud account for the new project, I was prompted to include an artist title, so I just took two tracks from The Clean’s Anthology box set (that I was listening to at that moment) and had a new name. The most recent Sad Eyed Beatniks album, Music From Big White, was about places I had lived in; rooms, apartments, neighborhoods; I love these types of songs that put you in a location like Dylan’s “Positively 4th Street”, Nilsson singing Newman’s “Vine Street”, Jonathan Richman’s “Lonely Financial Zone”, Husker Du’s “Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill”, “Violent Change’s “2nd and South Park”, etc. It’s just a simple backdrop where the story takes place and an easy way to frame a song, or in this case, an album. The bulk of this album is made up of repeatedly listening to The Mekons self-titled album, going on long walks, learning to play the drums, playing around with varying 4-track cassette recorders, voice memos on MUNI, and cutting out segments of my favorite tracks and moving them around. Everyone that lives in the city has their own experience; their own story to tell. Places Of Interest doesn’t try to define or frame it in a certain light. Rather, it collects moments of thought, happiness, confusion and puts you where it happened. Places Of Interest is my celebration of the city that I truly love.

[valaquenta]

Sad Eyed Beatniks - Ring Around Annie

[crashdevlin]

Satisfied- Ch. 15

Author’s Note: Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist, Satisfied Masterlist 

Summary: Dr. McCaullife tells Y/n to get closure, which leads to confrontations across the board.

Pairing: none 

Word Count: 3106

Chapter Warnings: mentions of cheating, mentions of mental breakdown, mentions of self-harm, mentions of noncon touching, bit of PTSD (it's a syndrome not a disorder😂🤣...in joke from another series), 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

My house is fairly small. I don’t need a lot of room. I spent more on the security system than anything, really. It’s a good one...a bajillion cameras running to a computer in my office closet, a doorbell cam going to my phone, a sensor on every door and window. I would love to say that I didn’t have Tom in mind when I bought it, but I was thinking of him more than I was thinking of paps and creepy fans. 

He had to stay in Texas due to the probation agreement, so he bought a house, too. A converted barn on the outskirts of Henly...an hour away from my home. Too close. Too close for any sort of comfort...but the ADA assured me that he was going to adhere to the protection order. So, I spent a lot of money on a security system.

When my doorbell went off and I looked at my phone to see Danneel standing on my porch, my stomach twisted. I just got rid of Jay, sent him home from New Orleans to be with his wife and then she shows up on my porch? How’d she even know where I live? *Guess this is my opportunity to get done with her, too.*

I opened the door and bit my lip as I looked at her. She had her hair down and scrunched up in sexy waves. She really is incredibly beautiful. I will never think anything else. “Hey, sweetie,” she greeted, smiling softly. “Can I come in?” I nodded and stepped back, closing the door as she set her purse on my loveseat and turned to me. “This is a cute place. You chose well.”

“Figure I don’t need a lot of space. Just enough for me and the kids on the occasion I get to see them.” I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest. “What can I do for you, Danneel?”

“Jay told me about your fight at the con and-”

“That wasn’t a fight,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “That wasn’t even a disagreement.”

“Sweetie,” she started, but I sighed and caught her eyes.

“No. Please, listen.” I took another breath and looked away from her. “I’m not mad. I haven’t wanted to fight. That’s why I didn’t reach out to you after I saw the video. That’s why I shut down...and shutting down wasn’t the best way to deal with it, but still, I never wanted to fight.”

“But isn’t Jay worth fighting for, Y/n?”

That sentence sent rage zipping through my chest, but I took another breath. Calm myself, move forward. “No one is worth that much fighting. Especially if they’re not willing to fight for me. He wanted you back, Dee. I was always the consolation prize.”

“He loves you.”

“I wish that were enough...but it wasn’t enough to keep him from cheating on me.” Her face fell and I could see she wanted to argue the word ‘cheating’ so I kept talking. “You both knew I didn’t want you touching each other while I was gone...and tell me that you honestly didn’t see that I had a lot of regrets after we fucked. Tell me you didn’t know that it was probably never going to happen again...and that’s why you took the opportunity while I was gone.”

She looked down, avoiding my gaze. “Jensen and I-”

“Danneel, it’s okay.” I smiled and swallowed down my residual sadness. “Seriously. You don’t have to feel guilty here, hon. You and Jensen never stopped loving each other. That’s a fact. I just got in the way of what never should have ended in the first place. I’m moving on. I’ll find someone eventually, but for now...you and Jensen should be together. You always should have been.”

“Y/n, you deserve-”

“I deserve to move on,” I snapped, before licking my lips and stepping closer. “You and Jensen need to be together...and I need to be alone for a while. So...don’t feel bad. Don’t apologize. Don’t try to get me to fight...because I’m done fighting.”

She started crying as I hugged her, but I just felt relief. It was done. Finally, there was closure. She’d leave my house and go back to Jensen and everything would be done. A short time later she did just that...and I sat on my couch and wiped my eyes and...did some affirmations and moved forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Closure on two fronts. That’s good,” Dr. McCauliffe said at my appointment the Monday after.

“Yeah. Now I just need closure with Nate and Tom and maybe I’ll be well-adjusted some day,” I said sarcastically.

“You should,” she encouraged, leaning forward.

“Wait...what?”

“You should have a sit-down with Tom and with Nate. You have grievances. You should air them.”

I scoffed and shook my head. “A sit-down with Tom is almost impossible. There are protections in place to keep that from happening and besides, you...you don’t want me interacting with Tom.”

“Not through text messages from unknown numbers when you’re feeling numb and broken. That was unhealthy. With you like this? Making breakthroughs and getting closure? That can only help.” She tapped her pen against her clipboard and smiled. “I’m sure there’s a way for you to meet with Tom, with protections, and clear the air a bit.”

“Clear the air. What would I even say to him? What would I even...How could I even talk to him without letting my brain go back to…” I rolled my shoulders back and ran my hand across my mouth.

“You talked to Jensen without an issue. You stood your ground twice, under stressful circumstances, and you came out the other side. I feel like you could handle this with grace. And I will be right here to help with any fallout that might occur. Okay?"

It took a lot of cajoling from Dr. McCauliffe, and some from Misha and Kim, but eventually I decided that it might not be the worst idea for my mental health if I got some closure with Nate. If that worked, I might go for closure with Tom...with a bodyguard and some lawyers and a knife in my pocket, just in case. 

I flew to Florida and took an Uber to Nate’s house. I had the driver wait, offered a $100 tip, and went up to the door. Jenny answered. I fought down a wave of anger at the sight of her. She used to be a friend. She was Nate’s friend first, a girl he told me was ‘one of the guys’ and not to worry about. I made friends to prove I wasn’t worried. I should have always been worried about Nate.

“It’s not your weekend,” she snapped.

“I’m not here for Nova. I’m here to talk to Nate.”

She scoffed and turned around to look at her husband, who was walking up from the living room. “It’s okay, Jen. I got this,” Nate said, stepping outside and shutting the door. “Sorry, she’s been kinda worried that you might decide you wanna come steal me back ever since she found out you and Jensen broke up.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a homewrecker. That’s her job.”

“Whoa!” he exclaimed. “Don’t talk about my wife like-”

"Your wife cheated on her husband with my husband, ruined two families, and displaced three children all while smiling across the table at me during game nights and pretending she had never sucked your cock. She is as much a liar and a slut as you."

Nate's eyes went huge as I spoke. I really wasn't expecting to explode like that, but years of bubbling anger, I guess. 

"What the hell, Y/n? You flew in from Texas to call me and Jenny names?"

"No, I flew in from Texas for closure. My shrink thinks it's a good idea to get the shit I've been holding back off my chest so I came to talk to you. Honestly? Probably never woulda said a word against Jenny if she hadn't answered the door, but she did." I shrugged. "Too late now."

"What could you possibly have left to get off your chest?"

"Do you even realize how poorly you treated me? No, I'm sure you can't be that delusional. Do you even care?" I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes. Blue just like Tom. *Gotta get a brown-eyed boy next time. Haven't been fucked over by a brown-eyed guy yet. No. No guys. No dating. Just me.* "I loved you with everything in me, Nate. You were everything to me, and you used that, used me to make yourself feel better, to make your friends laugh at the stupid fat girl who didn't realize you were fucking around. I know Jenny wasn't the first. And I bet she wasn't the last, either. Bet you got a few skeletons hiding from her too. Because you don't change. You're the same exact piece of shit you were when we were in high school...and Jenny knows that or she wouldn't be so scared that you would run away with your ex-wife. Not that I'd ever take you."

He scoffed in anger and I laughed. "I've had literal models in my bed, Nate. How delusionally narcissistic do you have to be to think that I would take a pencil-dicked, scruffy-faced, beatnik-looking motherfucker like you back?" Well, that was almost Tara-levels of confidence. When did that happen? "Look, I know you never loved me. I'm not delusional anymore, but I keep hoping that you'll love Nova...she's part of you, that should play right into your narcissism, but the way you use her like a tool, like a weapon against me...I don't think you love her any more than you loved me. And if you damage her, I will bury you."

He scoffed again. "You couldn't even win custody cause you're so unstable. What do you think you could do?"

"I didn't say I'd bury you in court." My voice was calm, with an edge of threatening. "You damage my daughter and I will do whatever I feel appropriate to pay you back." I was walking away when a final burn hit my mind. “It must be heartbreaking to you that the only thing you have the least in common with Jensen is that neither of you could keep it in your fucking pants.”

Dr. McCauliffe was right. Getting everything off my chest was freeing. I hadn’t even gotten on the plane back to Texas before I was on the phone with my lawyer. “What do you mean, you want a meeting with him? The man tried to rape you! There’s a restraining order on him and a-”

“I have to talk to him. That’s all. Lawyers present, a bodyguard or a cop in the room. I have things I need to say...Things I need to tell him so that I can get on with my life. Please, make it happen.”

“This is a bad idea.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it’s my bad idea, so...make it happen.”

And he did. He got me in a meeting with Tom at my lawyer’s office, a security guard and both lawyers present. 

I wore jeans, a baggy long-sleeved blouse, and I had my hair back and out of my face. I wasn’t there to look pretty. I was there for that closure.

My heart started pounding when I walked into that room and saw him. Obviously I wasn’t even close to over what he did...which is why I needed to talk to him about it. I sat across from him at a table in a conference room and my mind couldn’t help but replay being pressed into a long wooden table in the courthouse conference room, with a silk tie shoved in my mouth and my ass stinging. I took a deep breath and sighed it out as I sat down.

“I’d like to point out that I told my client that this was a bad idea,” Tom’s lawyer said.

“I told my client the same. She insisted,” my lawyer responded.

Tom smiled and my breath hitched. I was suddenly struck with the thought that I wasn’t ready for this. Maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe I should just walk out...but I’d already come so far. I averted my eyes from his, looked at the table instead. “My psychiatrist thought this would be a good thing for me. That I deserved closure.”

“Closure? You mean to say you’re completely done with me and want nothing to do with me in the future?” Tom’s voice made me shiver. “I have heard that one before...and you always text back eventually...Dear.”

“Closure means asking you ‘why’ and telling you all the ways you’ve hurt me, getting everything off of my chest so that I don’t have any regrets of things I should have said...and don’t call me that.”

“Why? Why what?” Tom asked and I looked up. Did he really not know?

“Why...our relationship, Tom. Our whole relationship and the way you treated me afterward. Why? Why did you treat me like that? Why did you try to own me? Why did you manipulate and hurt me? Why did you tell the world that Maverick was your son when you knew that you couldn’t be his father? Why did you make it seem like I was a cheating whore when you knew I wouldn’t cheat after what Nate did to me? Why did you try to rape me? Why?”

Tom sighed and looked to his lawyer, then back to me. “I’ve never met a woman like you, Y/n. You create these feelings in me that...I tamp them down with other women. You make me want to possess you. I knew the moment I saw you that I had to have you...completely. You’re the only woman I’ve ever possessed that way...and you did like it for a while, I know you did. I remember the way your body reacted-”

“That was in bed! You tried to take over my whole life and when I left you, you tried to ruin my life.”

“I wasn’t trying to ruin your life, I was trying to get you to interact with me. I was certain that you’d remember how you loved me if I got you away from Jensen. And look what happened. He left you, you started talking to me again.”

“He didn’t leave me. He cheated and I didn’t let him talk to me after,” I argued. I licked my lips and looked away, shaking my head. “I started talking to you because I was in a horrible place and I didn’t think I had anyone in my corner. I hated who I was and I thought it was a good idea to talk to someone who saw who I could be. It was a bad decision, just like the decision to date you in the first place.”

“But you were willing to talk to me when you were without Jensen’s influence. That’s all I was trying to do with the lawsuit. Of course I knew Maxwell isn’t my son but-”

“His name’s Maverick,” I snapped. “You never called Nova by her middle name, why do you insist on calling Mav by his?”

He shrugged. “I know that Jensen named that child. He’s an attractive young boy, deserves an appropriate name.”

“What about the rape?” I asked. “If all you wanted was to get me away from Jensen, why would you-”

“I saw you enter that room, there were several twitter accounts posting pics from inside the courthouse and...you were alone. For the first time in months, you were alone, so I went in to talk to you without Jensen or Jared running interference. I just wanted to talk, but...you got so defensive as soon as I walked in...and you called me a psycho.” He looked down and took a deep breath. “I just wanted you to remember that you loved me. That I could give you the things that you needed. Jensen never dominated you, never made you submit. I just wanted you to remember how you liked that...how you liked me. I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted you back."

I shook my head. "That wasn't the way to go about it, Tom. None of this was the way to go about it. I understand going a bit crazy over someone, but you...you went too far. Way too far. I wanted to love you, but you wanted to own me, and that's not the same." I stood and gave him a tight smile. "I'm glad you agreed to meet with me so that we could talk. Because I'm gonna say, with absolutely no doubt or question, I am done, Tom, and it's not because I'm with Jensen because I'm not. It's because you don't love me and you need to move on...because I don't love you. Okay?"

I started to walk out but I stopped at the door when something in the security guard's hand caught my attention. "You should get help, too, Tom. Therapy has done wonders for me. Have a good life."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You should have recorded it!" Misha exclaimed when I told him about the meeting. "You should have recorded the whole thing! Then you could have released it to the media! Everyone would have seen him for the monster he is!"

"And then I would get in trouble for recording him without his consent and it would have blown back on me." I shook my head and chuckled, taking a drink of my Old Fashioned. "That security guard is gonna buy a brand new car when he sells the video he took, though."

Blue eyes popped wide on my laptop screen as he grinned in surprise. The blue eyes I can trust. "The security guard was videoing?"

"Yeah. I noticed on my way out, so I added a little flare at the end. I high-roaded and told him to get help. Therapy has done wonders for me."

"So video is gonna hit of him admitting to all the horrible things he did?"

"Yup. I don't know...kinda feels like it's finally over, ya know? I finally feel like I can move on."

"I'm glad. I'm happy that you can finally move forward and be happy too."

I hummed and nodded. “Happy sounds like a good goal. For now, we’ll call it ‘content’ or...Satisfied.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stay tuned for Another Second Chance, coming soon!

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth​​ @flamencodiva​​ @wasabiwitteks​​ @rainbowkisses31​​ @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661​​ @officiallyunofficialperson​​ @dolphincliffs​​ @mrs-meghan-winchester​​ @gayspacenerd​​ @foxyjwls007​​ @ilovefanfic86​​ @marvelfansworld​​ @f-yeahfandoms​​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​​ @hhiggs​​ @sev3nruby​​  @hobby27​​ @paintballkid711​​ @divadinag​​ @thewhiterabbit42​​ @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark​​ @cosicas-cuquis​​ @superfanficnatural​​ @letsby​​ @supernatural-bellawinchester​​ @onethirstyunicorn​​ @swinchester27​​ @chalicia​​ @sunnyroadtrips​​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​ @death-unbecomes-you​​ Hunter Tags - @atc74​​ @sandlee44​​ @spnbaby-67​​ @kalesrebellion​​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @hoboal87​​ @stoneyggirl​​ @kbl1313​​ @cookiechipdough​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​ @holylulusworld​​ @pretty-fortune​​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​ @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits​​ @imperiusimpala​​

Gaga For Green Eyes Tags- @typicalweirdbookworm​​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​​ @jadesupernatural​​ @stoneyggirl​​ @4fareader​​ @squirrelnotsam​​ @lyarr24​​ @akshi8278​​ @pretty-fortune​​ @we-are-all-a-bunch-of-idjits​​

Happily Ever Eventually Tags- @deanmonandnegansbitch​​ @jamielea81​​

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 229: The Real Me

Previously on BnHA: Dabi fought a dude who could control ice. For like three pages. Then we cut to my boy Twice, who had located an unconscious Toga (who as you recall had her blood blown up a couple chapters back, so yeah) and was understandably freaking out about how to get her some help. To make a long and somewhat confusing story short, you know that long-haired guy who hacked Giran’s phone? Turns out he has the power to create human puppets or some shit, and he created a bunch of Twice duplicates and sent them to capture the real Twice (who you might also recall has some traumatic history involving clones of himself). Seems they want to use Twice’s quirk to create a backup clone of Re-Destro, just in case history repeats himself and he ends up kicking the bucket like his great-great granddad. Wouldn’t that be sad. Re-Destro getting murdered. Wouldn’t that just be a darn shame. Anyways so let’s see where this leads.

Today on BnHA: The Villain Flashback Arc continues with today’s installment featuring, you guessed it, more villain flashbacks! We learn more about our little buddy Twice who was apparently orphaned as a young teen and subsequently found himself alone in a cold and uncaring world. Honestly you guys, after reading this I’m amazed that he’s still as nice of a guy as he is. Anyway, so he used his quirk to clone himself because he was lonely, and the clones and him engaged in a petty crime spree or two, and then somehow or other it all led to the whole murderfest that fucked up his head so badly. Back in the present, a struggling Jin tries to escape and help Toga, so Skeptic orders his puppets to break Jin’s arms. They do so, but this has a curious side-effect that Skeptic may not have been expecting. Namely, that having that much damage dealt to him makes Twice realize that he definitely is not one of his clones, and is in fact the real deal. This appears to at least temporarily cure his split personality woes, and the chapter ends with him creating about a dozen duplicates to go fuck up the Liberation Army’s day. Hell yes.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity immediately afterward, but aside from that there are no changes.)

hey guys, sorry I’ve been inactive all week; I’ve been sick and haven’t really had much energy. I still am sick, but I appear to have reached the stage of exhaustion where I’m all “eh, fuck it, yeah sure whatever” where it’s ironically easy to motivate myself to do stuff because I have no willpower to resist, lol

so anyway. we’re apparently not missing a beat, picking up right where we left off last week with Twice’s mask being pulled off by one of the gorilla puppets

wow and they’re just like. flinging him aside

DON’T FLING MY BOY NO!! AND GET AWAY FROM TOGA

AHHHH

shit, how creepy is that? are they cold because they’re just ~puppets~ and not actually real, living people? what a disturbing touch

now we’re cutting back to Skeptic, who’s giving the puppets orders and addressing them as various letters of the alphabet. how can he tell them the fuck apart

meanwhile Giran’s asking what they’re doing to his pal. ;_; Giran you continue to be the best

and Re-Destro’s forcibly directing his attention elsewhere, but he’s also answering his question, strangely enough

that’s a lot of detail to be giving the guy when you could have just smacked him and told him to shut up. these villains are so confusing

but I guess they’re just telling him all this to taunt him more, because now Skeptic is bragging that he learned about Jin’s psychological disorder from Giran’s client data

hey btw I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but fuck this guy so hard for taking advantage of Twice’s trauma and using it against him. what a shocker, the Meta Liberation Army of dickheads pulls another dickhead move. these guys are so classy

oh my fucking god you guys Giran is getting hotter with each fucking chapter though fffffffff

if you’d told me a month ago that this dude would be nipping at Aizawa and All Might’s heels for the title of BnHA’s most eligible bachelor I would have called you a liar and a thief, yet here we are. good lord

that said, I appreciate that he’s thinking about how hard it’ll be on poor Twice, but they also just said they’d kill Toga as well, so I imagine that part of it would be pretty hard on her too. just saying

SDLFKSDLFHK SPEAKING OF

FUCK ME YOU GUYS I ALMOST LEAPED TO MY FUCKING FEET, WHAT THE FUCK. DON’T TELL ME THEY’RE GOING TO SNAP HER NECK. HOLY SHIT

SOMEONE BETTER SAVE HER OR I’M GOING TO FLY OUT TO JAPAN AND GIVE HORIKOSHI MY STUPID COLD. THAT’LL SHOW THAT BASTARD. HAVE SOME BRONCHITIS YOU PIECE OF SHIT

AND TWICE IS WATCHING ALL PANICKED AND SCREAMING THAT HE’S GOING TO KILL HER

AT FIRST I WAS CONFUSED AND WAS LIKE, DOES HE BLAME HIMSELF FOR GETTING HER IN THIS SITUATION? BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THE CLONES AND THAT YEAH IT’S LITERALLY HIM KILLING HER THOUGH OMGGGGG

AHHH HE’S SO CONFUSED THIS IS SO CONFUSING

I’M TOO SICK TO DEAL WITH TWICE’S EXISTENTIAL CRISIS YOU GUYS, IT’S REALLY FREAKING ME OUT, HELP. THE FUCKING PANELS ARE ALL WOBBLY-LINED AND THEY KEEP ZOOMING IN ON HIS FACE AND SHOWING HIM ALL BUG-EYED SCREAMING “WHO AM I” OVER AND OVER AGAIN OH GOD

OH SHIT!?!?

ACTUAL TWICE FLASHBACKS OH SHIT?! I was not expecting this oh snap. I am so into this

anyway, so he’s thinking -- with surprising coherence -- that because of his rough appearance, people were always afraid of him growing up

but also, what was that part about him not having a family? so he was an orphan then?? Horikoshi you are aware that I already love Twice and am emotionally attached to him, yes? but like if you want to hit me with even more feels and fuck me up some more then be my guest I suppose?

anyway so whoever he’s talking to here says Jin, who is apparently sixteen here, evidently hit some dude with his motorcycle by accident. oh shit

and baby!Jin says the guy jumped out in front of him and he was obeying the speed limit and everything

and the man he’s talking to seems vaguely sympathetic but says that regardless, it’s usually the victim who ends up winning these cases, and that Jin may end up with a criminal record. “but don’t let it get to you.” oh, sure. yeah, let’s just look on the bright side here

he says that no matter how many times you stumble in life, you can always start over

well shit is it any wonder this kid ended up going the villain route and making a bunch of clones of himself to live his best life? I mean jeez, he had absolutely no one on his side and was slapped with a criminal record when he was only sixteen. that shit is rough

oh fuck me and it just keeps getting worse

well that’s nice. so make that homeless with a criminal record, then. jesus christ he was still just a kid

so apparently his parents died in a villain attack when he was in middle school, and he had no relatives. I guess the state didn’t give a fuck either, damn

I find it extraordinarily easy to empathize with, actually! that’s one of the things that makes you such a great character!

so I guess he originally ended up making a clone of himself just because he was lonely. okay wow. not only does Twice continue to be the most likable villain in the series, he’s working his way up there as one of the most likable and relatably human characters, period

look at this shit! he’s just a guy who had a run of bad luck and tried his best to cope with it in whatever ways he could. there’s nothing villainous about him, he was just someone whom nobody wanted. he had his entire future stolen out from under him in the blink of an eye and had nowhere else to turn. he just wanted some friends for fuck’s sake

and so then he and his merry band committed a bunch of petty crimes. but they just needed some cash so they could live! like, all he wanted to do was just chill out and be happy. I got your back Twice. it’s not your fault

and then the flashback just kind of cuts to him tied to the chair in the aftermath of the clone hunger games. so I guess that’s all the backstory we’re getting as far as that goes. ngl I would have really liked to see just a bit more of the lead-up to that specific event. he’s such a nice guy that it’s a bit hard to picture him just suddenly going “RAWR I’M GONNA MURDER ALL Y’ALL.” but what I’m thinking is that all of the tragedy in his past contributed to him forming his violent alter ego personality, and that one of the clones must have just snapped one day and the rest is history

anyway so now we’re cutting to his first meeting with my new boyfriend Giran

ah okay, so he’s scared because if he actually is one of the clones then just a tiny bit of damage would be enough to finally do him in

btw Giran, possibly the one good thing Re-Destro and his buds did was getting rid of that scarf and sunglasses though bud. if you decide to change up your look after all of this, I’m not going to complain. there’s a reason I thought you were just some douchebag this whole time. obviously I shouldn’t have been so quick to judge you, I realize that now of course

but seriously Giran who wears sunglasses at night indoors. I mean, idk, maybe you get migraines or something. but if not I’m just saying

regardless, questionable fashion choices aside, Giran is actually a super nice guy, a mensch if you will, and he is now casually changing Twice’s entire life in the span of a few sentences. awww

how the fuck were you planning on smoking that cigarette while wearing a paper bag over your face. ??

also, Giran on this page kinda reminds me of Sanji, if Sanji was, like, a beatnik about to throw down on open mic poetry night

anyway so that’s the end of our happy flashback, and now we’re back in the present with Twice resuming his freakout!

but in spite of his mental struggles, he’s shaking the puppet clones off and trying to dash toward Toga again omg!

up in his little tower Skeptic seems fairly surprised

in related news, fuck this guy so much. also he’s using one of his puppets as a chair, which is one of the creepiest touches Horikoshi has put in this manga to date. but also they mentioned last week that Skeptic makes the puppets out of any human-sized materials that happen to be lying around, so I kind of wonder if maybe this dude originally was a chair. the mysteries of BnHA

moving on though, yeah, Twice and Toga really do have a strong bond though, don’t they? their chemistry is as beautiful as it is strange

oh shit but they really did hit him though

FUCK YOU F AND G

FFFFF SON OF A BITCH

DLASFKJLKJ PLEASE DON’T YOU FUCKING PSYCHOPATH, I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO FUCKING DIE YOU ASSHOLE!!!

motherfucker! and we just established that he’s afraid that a broken bone will be enough to kill him if it turns out he really is a clone!

-- holy shit, but. on the other hand, if it doesn’t kill him though, that just might be enough to cure him of that particular fear once and for all. oh shit, unexpected plot twist

though in this particular situation it probably won’t make much of a difference how sane he is if he’s still got two broken arms though fuuuuuuuck

anyway... gotta click to the next page... even though I really don’t want to, sob

aaaaaaaand they’ve broken them. well shit. at least it wasn’t graphic. he’s just hunching forward and screaming and his arms are facing the wrong way, fuck

and now Skeptic is all “your legs are next,” and uh, can Twice actually hear him, though?? like, what? did I miss something here? is he piping his voice in through the shed’s convenient sound system or something?

anyway he’s telling Twice not to struggle anymore, and Twice is muttering to himself all darkly about how much that hurt

and apparently Toga’s regained consciousness now!!

wow Skeptic, okay sure, go ahead and keep talking about how you’re about to kill Toga in front of his eyes. just keep on digging yourself deeper. it’s like he doesn’t realize there’s only one page left in the chapter and things are just about reaching a tipping point and our heroes (?! I mean they are, though, for this arc at any rate) have had just about enough of his bullshit

lol I can’t take the tension omg

please do something badass please do something badass please d --

oh snap

Twiiiiiiice ;_; so it’s like I thought. they unexpectedly cured you of your identity crisis angst

anyway I guess this chapter is a longer one than usual because it’s page 15 now and we’re still going! so I will now resume my “please do something badass” chant. c’mon Twice. kick some assssssss

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THIS TIME I REALLY DID LEAP OUT OF MY CHAIR OMG. BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

LMAO ARE ALL OF THEIR ARMS BROKEN TOO. FUCK IT, IT DOESN’T MATTER. DEKU HAS SPENT APPROXIMATELY HALF THE MANGA WITH BROKEN ARMS AND IT’S NEVER STOPPED HIM*

*forest angst aside. and anyways that all worked out in the end, so

“wounded heroes are the most dangerous.” well fuck. given that we’ve just seen an exhausted and delirious Shigaraki eradicate an entire wave of people, and a bloodied and wounded Toga straight up murder one of the Army’s leaders, I think it’s safe to say we can apply this statement to villains too. and I for one can’t wait how dangerous a wounded -- but now sane -- Twice can be. motherfucker how I am loving this glorious arc

[daggerzine]

Sad Eyed Beatniks- “It’s Who Makes the Scene” single (Meritorio)

Another ace single from the folks at Meritorio. This is from Bay Area guy Kevin Linn (aka Sad Eyed Beatniks), who has an album coming out on said label in a week or so.

With this project, Linn adds layer upon layer of distortion with some squiggly guitar throughout and I think I hear Moe Tucker on drums. In fact, the whole thing reminds me a bit of the Velvets meet something like The Clean (I hear some surfy stuff in there).

I feel like Linn could do this kinda stuff for a few hours, record it, and I’d listen to the whole thing - no problem. His vocals are pretty wonderous, too.

I’m ready for this (***update- the whole album is out)

www.meritoriorecs.bandcamp.com

www.sadeyedbeatniks.bandcamp.com

[kingofattolia]

a List of Things About X-Men: Dark Phoenix

aka X-Men vs Aliens aka Charles NO: The Movie

(yes, I’m still here watching X-Men movies. do i recommend it as a pastime? not really, but the sad truth is, if Charles and Erik are there, so am i)

FIRST OF ALL... Raven died

HA

HAHAHAHA

that’s the sound of me laughing at the fact that whoever wrote this thinks he has the POWER to kill Raven

you fool. you blithering idiot. you pompous dunderhead

Raven is eternal. she will remain when all else has turned to dust. Raven is identity. Raven is free will. Raven is self-determination, independence, truth

the fact that someone thought he could just... KILL HER in a Tragique Accident™ that had nothing to do with HER at ALL......?

Raven is not your PLOT POINT. she is not going to lay down her life for Hank’s and Erik’s and Charles’s CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

the unmitigated GALL. the gross irreverence. the sheer, brazen cheek

0/10 blasphemy

on the whole, I'm a big fan of X-Men vs. aliens. a common enemy to unite against? FINALLY fighting someone that's not Erik? yes, thank you.

something else we haven't seen before: the PUBLIC ADORATION OF X-MEN. it probably didn't survive the movie, but STILL! that's something new from the post-DOFP timeline.

the little girl with the Raven action figure? love that

not as much Quicksilver as there should have been :(

also the Charles and Erik outfit-o-meter is running sadly low on fuel, but I'll do the best I can

Charles's presidential gala tux 5/10

Charles's black beatnik mock-turtleneck 7/10

Charles's 70s flashback look 6/10

Charles's FRENCH CAFE T-SHIRT 9/10 (ARMS)

skinny hobo "Survivor Contestant" Erik 6/10

Erik's long black throwback duster 5/10 (should have been a cape)

i like how Scott is the main character's love interest and yet has ABSOLUTELY no emotional resonance in the whole movie lol

Charles, righteous, making Raven's death about himself: I can't believe you would yell at me, HERE, in this sacred kitchen, on this, the day of my foster sister's funeral--

i love him and he needs to be punched in the face

WHY DID HE SAY "FOSTER SISTER." JUST SAY SISTER, YOU MORON

is it just me or would Raven have hated Charles giving her eulogy. like wow he tried to define her all throughout her life and here he is getting the last word in her story as well

JUST ADMIT THAT YOU MADE A MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!

really, the amounts of "CHARLES NO" in this movie are almost, one might say... off the charts

all his chickens came home to roost at once

me, throwing an empty soda can at the sky: THAT WAS FOR MOIRA

Charles apologizing??????????????????????

did I mention that I love him

"everything you did was out of love, I forgive you"

okay is it just me or would it have made five HUNDRED times more sense for Hank to have died? not that I don't like Hank

Raven was already doubting Charles's commitment to protecting the team. she totally would have laid ALL of this at his feet and it has always been Raven's time-honored role to yell at Charles

Raven going to see Erik would have been absolutely in-character

RAVEN AS SCHOOL DIRECTOR AND X-MEN CAPTAIN

"hmm... I find myself on a blood quest seeking vengeance. where should I go for help?" "VENGEANCE ISLAND, the lair of LORD McVENGEANCE HIMSELF"

Erik, after having literally established beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jean is far and away more powerful than he is, and he can't stand up to her in a fair fight: I'm gonna fly majestically up to her and kill her with THIS metal bannister

"you hurt people" "it's been a while"

Samoan Hair Guy????? what was up with him

Erik, a genius mastermind: so... guns don't work. I guess that means I need a HUNDRED guns

just in general, the melee fight outside the aliens' fancy house was fabulous

Charles, immobilizing Buzzcut Lady

Storm, being the best one on the scene at all times

Kurt getting a HECK of a workout while everyone is simultaneously bawling his name, like jeez, chill, he's only one person guys.

Erik, summoning the NYC subway cars for ABSOLUTELY NO DISCERNIBLE REASON

HE LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN NEED THEM

but he needed............ the drama

Charles, large and in charge: you're not coming with us

The kids: we ARE coming END OF DISCUSSION

Charles, cowed: ok

I think the president was supposed to be Bush 41, but really the guy looked like Nixon

Charles RETIRING????????????????????????????????? ok first of all, I love this. second of all, WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO? he's not going to survive without some all-consuming purpose. eating croissants on the Riviera ain't gonna cut it. I need so much more about this concept tbh

THE CHESS SCENE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAHHHHHHFMGHFMGHFMH

I almost died. in fact, I probably am still in the process of dying

Erik: fancy a game, Charles? for old time's sake

Charles: NO, Erik. I am TRYING to be EMO, please respect that

Erik, bright eyed and curly haired: pleaaaaaase?

Charles, trying as hard as he can not to smile and still failing: FINE

ARMS

this is the opposite of the beach divorce I'm calling it now. they're going to find a new purpose and work together and cause SO many problems for everyone else

I walked out of the theater with the light of glee filling my soul from the inside out and this is why

10/10 Parisian cafe reconciliation

I'm...... happy that they didn't KILL Jean. not gonna lie, I fully expected them to. but a dramatic self-sacrificing death is like 0.5% of a step up

sweetie. honeybunch. all your women are still dead

[distortionandsnow]

Favorite diy tapes/albums from 2019!

An alphabetical list. guillaume AltamirA - Loin. Guil has become a great friend and collaborator this past year. His tape is soooo good. Check it out! Dilary Huff - Overused Sayings First of two releases from the killer label Devil Town Tapes. Dillary Huff is a fantastic six song debut. Hard Job - Carvest Scott actually played drums in a band that played the last house show that Connie and I ever hosted. I discovered his Hard Job project early last year and was about to reach out to see if we could collab on a Painted Blonde release when this album was announced by Already Dead Tapes. My loss is everyone else’s gain. Mythical Motors - Elevated Levels This is technically a 2018 release. Matt released an album in 2019 also, but it hasn’t been released on tape yet. Check that out here, it’s equally as awesome. I am constantly in awe of Matt’s consistent output, whether it’s music or his wonderful collages. Omes - Boy The second of two releases from Devil Town. A nice super chill bedroom pop EP that I listened to a lot this summer while mowing the yard of all things. Poorly Drawn House - Rock Springs I had several talks with PDH about guitars, pedals and 4 tracks over the last couple of years. Great lo-fi homegrown jams here. Quad Super SIx - S/T First of two releases from Paisley Shirt Records. Super super fantastic debut from Quad Super Six. So, so, so good. Sad Eyed Beatniks - Music From Big White I think I discovered this album via the cassette culture subreddit. I reached out to Kevin via Instagram after buying it because I was so blown away by the album. We’ve become good friends and supporters of each other’s labels ever since. He’s got one of the coolest record labels out there and this album is so good. Basically sounds like what I wish my own music sounded like. TV Dinners Factory - Ro / Ingen Ro Finally, super awesome little four track EP released via another tape label that does it right, Chord Organ Tapes. Had many conversations with Robin from TV Dinners about keyboards and being dads that continue to create. Good times.

[noloveforned]

friday is wrapping up so we're getting ready for this week's no love for ned on wlur tonight at 8pm. tune in or check out last week's show below!

no love for ned on wlur – february 4th, 2022 from 8-10pm

artist // track // album // label

thalia zedek band featuring j masic and chris brokaw // bend again // fighting season // thrill jockey deathcrash // american metal // return // untitled recs good sad happy bad // believe it // shades // textile the john pauls // island of lanes // the john pauls - ep // aagoo fucked up // police // police 7" // deranged tube alloys // breakdown // g.t.r.r.c. iii compilation // under the gun cherry cheeks // shell // cherry cheeks // total punk purpur spytt // triangles // nitpick 7" ep // le syndicat des scorpions yard act // tall poppies // the overload // zen f.c. * emily roll // stiff drink // tip over, glass cassette // ginkgo mac blackout // brood x, part 1 (excerpt) // brood x- live free improvisation with 2021 great eastern brood cicadas // (self-released) akira sakata and takeo moriyama // ghosts // mitochondria // trost noah howard // song for poets // space dimension // america carlos niño and friends // improvisation based on horace tapscott’s “niger’s theme” // improvisation based on horace tapscott’s “niger’s theme” ep // leaving universal liberation orchestra // communion // communion // freedom to spend scrabbel // the purveyor of karmic justic // the good, the bad, the dokkaebi // where it's at is where you are black flower // magma // magma // sdban ultra lady wray // through it all // piece of me // big crown * samm henshaw // east detroit // untidy soul // dorm seven earl sweatshirt featuring armand hammer // tabula rasa // sick! // warner * linqua franqa // wurk // bellringer // ernest jenning tonstartssbandht // magic pig // petunia // mexican summer * partner look // deutschland // by the book // trouble in mind soviet girls // cold hearted // cold hearted - single // (self-released) nap eyes // car // join the ritual compilation // jagjaguwar sad eyed beatniks // who's that // claudia's ethereal weaver // meritorio pipas // bye bye // chunnel autumnal // matinée

* denotes music on wlur’s playlist